I says: If you come any closer, I’m turning the hose on youse! I would have turned the cold water on full blast – and that was in winter. They never tried that one on again. And then I wanted to know who told them where we worked. It turned out it was a colleague! I really gave him a piece of my mind! We didn’t speak to each other for a year. You deceitful bastard, I says, coming in here with five tarts, and all of you wielding huge umbrellas and the two of us standing here like a couple of ninnies! But Leila wasn’t chicken, she chased them with a wooden crate and wanted to smash it over their heads.

But the tarts who are here now are all quite nice. They come in here at night and fetch a plaice or a fish-ball and they’re big tippers. But there are a few crazy ones as well. The new one, the one in the pants-suit, she’s pretty cheeky. I’ve already told Hilde about her. I told her: I’m going to tell that one a thing or two, the cheeky cow! One of her customers just stopped right in the middle of the street. And do you reckon I could get through? I waited for ages while he was bargaining with her and the line of cars was getting longer and longer. I flashed my lights at her and the old cow comes running up to my car and abuses me, and how, I tell you: You stinking cunt! That’s what she said.